How To Pick the Perfect Baby Name

Why IS naming a baby so hard? They give you 9 whole months to come up with something, and yet, the baby arrives, and so many parents are scrambling to land on a name, sheepishly asking the birth certificate handler for just a few more minutes.

As so often the story goes with my clients, my husband and I were pretty set on our first child’s name. We toyed around with other ideas, but always came back to the same name we both loved. With our second child and especially our third, it seemed to get harder and harder. It took us nearly two days in the hospital to land on a name with my youngest son. Who we now both love and couldn’t see him with any other name.

As with many decisions in life now, we are inundated with so many choices and outside opinions. And choice brings both freedom and opportunity for self-expression of one’s values, but it can also be overwhelming. Too much choice. It seems like every name on your list comes with a but. But I googled it … but I just saw this girl from high school used it … but that was my old boss’ name and … but my mom says it’s too weird … but it’s so popular … You break out the baby name book desperately searching, convinced the perfect name exists and you just haven’t found it.

As a baby name consultant, I have now worked with hundreds of families to help them find the perfect name for their child. Here are some of my tips and learnings to help you do the same.

Take it seriously. Do some research! If you’re making this decision with a partner, make sure you’re on the same page or have figured out a way to compromise if you have different tastes. Decide what is most important to you and where you are each willing to give a little. Do not expect the perfect name to land in your lap or hit you on the head the moment you see your baby.
Strategize. Decide whether you want to have the name set in stone before delivery. If not, narrow it down to a top 2, maybe 3 names to choose between after the baby is born. Some people do get that feeling of which name fits the baby best when they arrive, but many people don’t, and the exhaustion and hormones don’t make the decision any easier! Consider finding out the gender of your child if you are really struggling with picking out names.
Prioritize. Some people have checklists a mile long of their baby name criteria. I respect the ambition, but sometimes you do have to decide which things are most important to you, because many names aren’t going to check every single box. Popularity, meaning, sibling cohesion, how well it sounds with your last name, and nickname-ability. There are so many things to think about with a name! Be prepared to loosen your criteria a little if agreeing on a name is challenging.
Lower your expectations. You read that correctly. Fairytale syndrome. Many people are looking for this magical feeling or sublime connection to a name to hit them, and that just doesn’t always happen. “With our first child, we just knew” is what I often hear. Just like it can sometimes take longer to bond with a second child, it may take some time to feel connected to the name you choose for subsequent children. Allow room for the connection to the name to grow once the baby is here.
Have fun. Cheesy, I know. But sometimes this process gets clouded by anxiety and indecision. Try and have a little fun with it! I’ve had some friends do a baby name bracket. And try, TRY not to let outside opinions weigh on you too heavily.

Buy the Book:

Naming Bebe

by Colleen Slagen

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The first decision you make as a parent is what to name your child, and these days, there’s more pressure than ever to get it right. How do you choose a name that’s on trend but timeless, classic but unique, familiar but not too popular — a name that satisfies everyone in your family, looks great crocheted on a sweater, and sets your child up for success in life? Old-fashioned, dictionary-style baby name books can help with inspiration, but today’s parents need something more. Written by professional baby name consultant and TikTok star Colleen Slagen, Naming Bebe walks you through naming your baby step by step, considering style, popularity, meaning, and more.

(On sale: 6/10/2025)